Archive for September 2026
Every GI needs a potato peeler
by David Benjamin “Mothers of River City!/ Heed that warning before it’s too late!/ Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption!/ The minute your son leaves the house/ Does he re-buckle his knickerbockers below the knee?/ Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?/ A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?/ Is he…
Read MoreAn offer he can’t refuse
by David Benjamin “Scenes We’d Like to See” — MAD magazine [Lights. Camera, Action] A gloomy brain trust is gathered in the Oval Office. Steve and Natalie hover near the Resolute desk, where the president is slumped in his easy chair, taking a power nap. “The Democrats are due any minute. We need a plan,…
Read MoreChildren of the damnable
by David Benjamin “All parental rights are reserved to the parent of a minor child in this state without obstruction or interference from the state, any of its political subdivisions, any other governmental entity, or any other institution …” —Section 3, Parents Bill of Rights, Parental Rights Foundation MAYBERRY—Andy Taylor, Chairman of the School Board,…
Read MoreAbolish ICE? Nein nein, mein freund!
by David Benjamin “People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” — Kristi Noem MADISON, Wis.—Okay, so you’re watching a re-run of the peerless Jerry Orbach in “Law and Order,” or soaking up Mark Harmon’s neo-Joe Friday shtick in “NCIS.” The trusty good…
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