Pandemic notes 3.0: Dying for the Democrats

by David Benjamin “The gap between stated voting support for Mr. Trump and Joseph R. Biden Jr. grows by about 2.5 percentage points in Mr. Biden’s favor when a county has extremely high levels of coronavirus-related deaths relative to when it has low levels.” — “The Upshot,” New York Times, 28 July MADISON, Wis. — …

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Mr. and Mrs. Buzz

by David Benjamin “Don’t be afraid, as no life-loving bee wants to sting you. Still, don’t be an idiot; wear long sleeves and pants. Don’t swat. Don’t even think about swatting. If you feel angry, whistle. Anger agitates while whistling melts a bee’s temper. Act like you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t.…

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“Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?”

by David Benjamin “July eighth, 1979, all the fathers of Nobel Prize winners were rounded up by United Nations military units… and actually forced at gunpoint to give semen samples in little plastic jars, which are now stored below Rockefeller Center underneath the ice skating rink…”  — Jerry Fletcher (Mel Gibson), in Conspiracy Theory MADISON,…

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A pandemic of symbolism

by David Benjamin “Waging war on bronze men doesn’t make your life any more moral or just.”  ― Maria Lipman MADISON, Wis. — In eighth grade, when I was plowing doggedly through Moby Dick, I began to glimpse the power and ambiguity of symbolism. The white whale is perhaps the most compelling symbol in all…

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The Alibi Sheet

by David Benjamin “The president does read… The president is the most informed person on planet Earth…”  — Presidential press secretary Kayleigh McEnaney MADISON, Ws. — Among the lesser noticed Top Secret documents that leaked — well, it was more of a flood — from highly placed but fearfully anonymous sources in Washington in the…

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