Upcoming Events:
Wednesday, 8 July, noon - Book Talk, An Apartment in Paris, Mount Horeb Rotary Club, Mount Horeb, Wisconsin
Monday, 13 July, 11:15 am - Book Talk, An Apartment in Paris, Verona Community Center, 108 Paoli Street, Verona, Wisconsin
Tuesday, 14 July, 7 pm - A Dialog on Writing with Dave Wood, Whitehall Public Library, 18560 Scranton Street, Whitehall, Wisconsin.
The Weekly Screed
by David Benjamin “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. “A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. “A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection…
by David Benjamin “I’m from Milwaukee and I oughta know “It’s draft-brewed Blatz beer, wherever you go. “Smoother, fresher, less filling—that’s clear! “Blatz is Milwaukee’s finest beer!” MADISON, Wis.—I once told my favorite barista—her name is Sam and she charts horoscopes—that she reminds me of Louise Brooks. Of course, she’d never heard of Louise Brooks,…
by David Benjamin WASHINGTON, D.C., 6 January 2027—In the breathtaking first act by the 120th Congress, the House of Representatives agreed by acclamation to a binding resolution—offered by the new Democratic majority—that the 2020 presidential election was fraudulently decided in favor of Joe Biden. The stunning implication of this vote was that Biden had served…
by David Benjamin “All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more.” ―J.R.R. Tolkien MADISON, Wis.—Admittedly, I watch too…
by David Benjamin “You still don’t understand what you’re dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.” —Ash (Ian Holm), Alien MADISON, Wis.—When I was in high school, writing stories for an underground literary magazine called The Id, I took a stab at science fiction. The resulting…
by David Benjamin “I like Chinese “I like Chinese “They only come up to your knees “Yet they’re always friendly, and they’re ready to please …” — Monty Python MADISON, Wis.—Somewhere in the Kunlun mountains that roughly divide China proper from its puppet state of Tibet lies the imaginary paradise of Shangri-La, where life is…
by David Benjamin “Mothers of River City!/ Heed that warning before it’s too late!/ Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption!/ The minute your son leaves the house/ Does he re-buckle his knickerbockers below the knee?/ Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?/ A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?/ Is he…
by David Benjamin “Scenes We’d Like to See” — MAD magazine [Lights. Camera, Action] A gloomy brain trust is gathered in the Oval Office. Steve and Natalie hover near the Resolute desk, where the president is slumped in his easy chair, taking a power nap. “The Democrats are due any minute. We need a plan,…
by David Benjamin “All parental rights are reserved to the parent of a minor child in this state without obstruction or interference from the state, any of its political subdivisions, any other governmental entity, or any other institution …” —Section 3, Parents Bill of Rights, Parental Rights Foundation MAYBERRY—Andy Taylor, Chairman of the School Board,…
by David Benjamin “People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” — Kristi Noem MADISON, Wis.—Okay, so you’re watching a re-run of the peerless Jerry Orbach in “Law and Order,” or soaking up Mark Harmon’s neo-Joe Friday shtick in “NCIS.” The trusty good…