Posts by David Benjamin
"Believe (in) me!"
“Believe (in) me!” by David Benjamin He said, “Picture this: the Oval Office. A dozen news cameras are rolling. The new president ushers in an eight-year-old girl named, let’s say, Jenny. He sets her up on his desk. He proceeds to strip her down and molest her sickeningly for ten minutes. Within an hour, a…
Read MoreHe's ba-a-a-ack!
He’s ba-a-a-ack! by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Sirens screaming, lights throbbing, Car 54 jumped the curb, dodged several trees, skidded violently and spun in a circle before lurching to a sudden stop in a snowbank just shy of the playground. By several inches, it missed flattening a little boy in a purple snowsuit. Officer…
Read MorePapa's thumbnail
Papa’s thumbnail by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — My grandfather’s hands fascinated me. Papa, as we called him, put in fifty years at the Milwaukee Road frog shops in Tomah. He was a machinist, repairing switches and the huge steel “frogs” that intersected rail lines. When he arrived home after his eight hours, I would…
Read MoreDragnet 2017
Dragnet, 2017 by David Benjamin This is the city. Chicago. Stormy, husky, brawling. Big shoulders, stacker of wheat, hog butcher… You know the drill. My name is Friday. Joe Friday. I’m a cop. My partner, Bill Gannon, and I responded to a routine call about a possible 10-16 at a ninth-floor walkup on the West…
Read MoreA thousand rings, a single clown
A thousand rings, a single clown by David Benjamin “It’s just that there are all these Sandras running around who you’ve never met before, and it’s confusing at first, fantastic. But damn it, isn’t it great to find out how many Sandras there are? It’s like those little cars in the circus, you know? This…
Read MoreDeplorable
Deplorable by David Benjamin “… Under these circumstances, an ambitious policy agenda to combat climate change or battle income inequality and persistent poverty seems like a pipe dream. Repairing decaying infrastructure and improving public education will most likely also remain out of reach… ” — Eduardo Porter MADISON, Wis. — There is no analysis that…
Read MoreThe attack of the box spring
The attack of the box spring by David Benjamin “… Miss Glory, robots are not people. They are mechanically much better than we are, they have an amazing ability to understand things, but they don’t have a soul. Young Rossum created something much more sophisticated than Nature ever did — technically at least!… ” —…
Read More"… Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?"
“… Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?” by David Benjamin “Rock ’n’ roll music and why I preach against it. I believe that it is a contributing factor to our juvenile delinquency of today. I know what it does to you. And I know the evil feeling that you feel…
Read More"CHIRP!"
“CHIRP!” by David Benjamin “The job of the newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” — Mr. Dooley (Finley Peter Dunne) PARIS — When the press acquiesced to being called “the media,” the door closed on Finley Peter Dunne and opened wide for Billy Bush. Marshall McLuhan introduced the term “medium” to…
Read MoreDonald Trump's Parisian sweetheart
Donald Trump’s Parisian sweetheart by David Benjamin “When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” — 1 Corinthians 13:11 PARIS — My friends in the Trumpkamp think that non-Trumpniks like…
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