Posts by David Benjamin
First came the Romans
First came the Romans by David Benjamin “I like Chinese,/ They only come up to your knees./ Yet they’re wise, and they’re witty, and they’re ready to please…” — Monty Python PARIS — First, after the war, it was the Americans. Flush and cocky, they invaded, brandishing their “Europe on Five Dollars a Day” manuals,…
Read MoreSteve, Remy, Mohammed… and Louis Vuitton
Steve, Remy, Mohammed… and Louis Vuitton by David Benjamin “In a country that views ‘the seduction of women’ as an important aspect of its national identity, it is easy to understand why hijabi women can attract criticism. In France, men who ‘seduce’ are adored and admired as ‘Don Juans.’ In such a context, one can…
Read MorePorn Star Tryst Sends President Packing
Porn Star Tryst Sends President Packing by David Benjamin PARIS — It’s been oft speculated that any one of Donald Trump’s myriad outrages. committed by any other American political figure, would leave that person so profoundly disgraced that he would live out the rest of his shattered existence as a social pariah and global laughingstock.…
Read MoreWorld Cup Blues
World Cup Blues by David Benjamin “Of course it went to penalties. It always goes to penalties.” — Andrew Das, New York Times MADISON, Wis. — We all agree that FIFA is La Cosa Nostra of fun and games, the most corrupt sports organization ever conceived. At the moment, FIFA’s big show, the World Cup,…
Read MoreFront Porch Week in America
Front Porch Week in America by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — The history of Rockford College — which stubbornly persists in treating me as an alumnus despite my departure after only three semesters — has no record of a campus group, in the late 1960s, called the Chapultepec Social Club (CSC). Although the school’s administrators at…
Read MoreHomeland Security comes to Maple Street
Homeland Security comes to Maple Street by David Benjamin “And when you prosecute the parents for coming in illegally, which should happen, you have to take the children away.” — Donald Trump “When you cross… illegally, when you commit a crime, you are taken away from your family because that’s how this country works.” — Corey…
Read MoreThe boyhood of the unraveling pants
The boyhood of the unraveling pants by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — As I was riding the Métro in Paris awhile back, face-to-face with a lovely young thing, I noted — with a familiar sense of perplexity — that both the knee areas in her custom-blemished Levi-Strauss 501 jeans were torn and ravaged, framing her lovely…
Read MoreValues clarification for football fans
Values clarification for football fans by David Benjamin “You can’t fine somebody for a peaceful protest. We’re not out here holding signs, saying we don’t care about the troops or we don’t care about our country or whatever. It’s a peaceful protest, and it’s something as simple as people just expressing themselves and how they…
Read MoreRoseanne as Saint Joan
Roseanne as Saint Joan by David Benjamin “Black guys counting my money! I hate it… I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks.” — Trump “Look at my African-American over here! Look at him!” — Trump MADISON, Wis. — Roseanne Barr has been become,…
Read MoreThe John Reynolds factor
The John Reynolds factor by David Benjamin “If our leaders seek to conceal the truth, or we as people become accepting of alternative realities that are no longer grounded in facts, then we as American citizens are on a pathway to relinquishing our freedom.” — Rex Tillerson MADISON, Wis. — When a man widely regarded as…
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