Posts by David Benjamin
A mundane mile of Monona Drive
A mundane mile of Monona Drive by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — A modest building called the East Side Club was the venue last month for what Sharyn — my crack publicist — and I, decided to call a “book party,” to mark “officially” (I actually don’t have an office) the initiation of my publishing…
Read MoreThe Unthinkables
The Unthinkables By David Benjamin “I’m gonna tell you something. Somebody messes with me, I’m gonna mess with with him.” —Al “Scarface” Capone “When people wrong you, go after those people, because it is a good feeling. And because other people will see you doing it. I always get even.” — Donny “Pink Eyes” Trump…
Read MoreThe Islamic siege of Verona
The Islamic siege of Verona By David Benjamin “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” — U.S. Constitution, First Amendment MADISON, Wis. — My friend Ivan (not his real name) in Verona is under siege. The Muslim invasion there is all around him. Mohammed’s spawn are…
Read MoreRed rover, red rover, send Gordy right over
Red rover, red rover, send Gordy right over By David Benjamin “Robert D. Luskin, Mr. Sondland’s lawyer, said in a statement that as a State Department employee, his client had no choice but to comply with the administration’s direction. He said Mr. Sondland was ‘profoundly disappointed’ he was not able to testify, and would do…
Read MoreWhat's news, pussycat?
What’s news, pussycat? By David Benjamin “I think [the protesters] have succeeded in spoiling the show. The media will be split between covering the parade in Beijing and covering what’s happening in Hong Kong.” — Pierre Cabestan, political science professor, Hong Kong Baptist University MADISON, Wis. — Professor Cabestan, bless his heart, is wrong. There…
Read MoreThe eternal light on my dashboard
The eternal light on my dashboard By David Benjamin “A car doesn’t understand why it’s driving anywhere.” — Bart Selman, professor of computer science, Cornell University PARIS — The first car I ever drove (with a license) was my mother’s 1961 Ford Fairlane, referred to affectionately by friends as the Brown Bomb. Because Mom’s Ford…
Read MoreHow Little Donny ended up in military school
How Little Donny ended up in military school By David Benjamin “Alabama will NOT see any impacts from #Dorian. We repeat, no impacts from Hurricane #Dorian will be felt across Alabama. The system will remain too far east.” — Anonymous official, National Weather Service, Birmingham QUEENS, ca. 1955 — All the kids in Mrs. Otterbein’s…
Read MoreArmball: The ancient roots of soccer
Armball: The ancient roots of soccer By David Benjamin “If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn’t have given us arms” — Mike Ditka MADISON, Wis. — Ever since I played two-line soccer at recess in grade school, I’ve been puzzled by the anomaly that soccer is the only team sport that doesn’t…
Read MoreMy hayseed handicap
My hayseed handicap By David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — A few unrelated events sent me back this week. First, there were indications all around town that a new school year was starting. This lent a measure of urgency to my dialog with a young barista at my morning coffee joint, named Tay, who was making…
Read More"Devious pathways"
“Devious pathways” By David Benjamin “Sharp social race separation of whites and blacks has shown itself to be necessary in the United States of America, even if it leads in certain cases to human hardness, as when a mongrel of predominantly white appearance is nevertheless reckoned among the niggers.” — Third Reich teacher’s guide, 1934…
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