Posts by David Benjamin
“Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?”
by David Benjamin “July eighth, 1979, all the fathers of Nobel Prize winners were rounded up by United Nations military units… and actually forced at gunpoint to give semen samples in little plastic jars, which are now stored below Rockefeller Center underneath the ice skating rink…” — Jerry Fletcher (Mel Gibson), in Conspiracy Theory MADISON,…
Read MoreA pandemic of symbolism
by David Benjamin “Waging war on bronze men doesn’t make your life any more moral or just.” ― Maria Lipman MADISON, Wis. — In eighth grade, when I was plowing doggedly through Moby Dick, I began to glimpse the power and ambiguity of symbolism. The white whale is perhaps the most compelling symbol in all…
Read MoreThe Alibi Sheet
by David Benjamin “The president does read… The president is the most informed person on planet Earth…” — Presidential press secretary Kayleigh McEnaney MADISON, Ws. — Among the lesser noticed Top Secret documents that leaked — well, it was more of a flood — from highly placed but fearfully anonymous sources in Washington in the…
Read MoreThe hunt for Red Antifa
by David Benjamin “… Antifa, short for anti-fascists, hasn’t killed anyone and appears to have been only a marginal presence in Black Lives Matter protests. None of those arrested on serious federal charges related to the unrest have been linked to antifa…” — Nicholas Kristof, N.Y. Times “We have to find one, Your Majesty.” It’s…
Read MoreThe shame of it all
by David Benjamin “[W]e are the heirs of a past of rope, fire, and murder. I for one am not ashamed of this past. My shame is for those who became so inhuman that they could inflict this torture upon us.” — Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. MADISON, Wis. — For most of my life,…
Read MoreEntertainment for men, civilization for boys
by David Benjamin “Our morality is based, in large part, on mystical dogma, not reason, our lives are governed by superstition and prejudice rather than knowledge. Self-sacrifice is prized above self-interest and self-esteem. Society is placed above the individual. And the goal of happiness is lost in a labyrinthine maze of emotional responses, self-doubts, self-denials,…
Read MoreThe white cop quandary: Then and now
by David Benjamin In July 1968, I was counselor for sixteen kids from Chicago at an art and music camp in East Troy, Wisconsin, operated by Hull House Association. One day, as the Chicago Police were mobilizing for war against Yippies and young people at the upcoming Democratic National Convention, I casually asked my 11-year-old…
Read MoreThe Trumple with tribbles
by David Benjamin “China has been working very hard to contain the Coronavirus. The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency … I want to thank President Xi!” — Trump MADISON, Wis. — 1) Let’s give the president an iota of credit. A popular perception is that he spends his days — save for…
Read MoreSaving Alaska from literature
by David Benjamin “So now do you see why books are hated and feared? They show the pores in the face of life. The comfortable people want only wax moon faces, poreless, hairless, expressionless.” — Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 MADISON, Wis. — The latest illiterate school board to get into the book-banning biz is in…
Read MorePandemic notes 1.0: First pants, then shoes
by David Benjamin “With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow,…
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