Posts by David Benjamin
"… Many sides, many sides…"
“… Many sides, many sides…” by David Benjamin “We are determined to take our country back. We are going to fulfill the promises of Donald Trump. That’s what believed in. That’s why we voted for Donald Trump.” — David Duke, former Imperial Wizard, Ku Klux Klan MADISON, Wis. — Well hooray for David Duke. Duke…
Read MoreBig Al, Big Kim and Little Don
Big Al, Big Kim and Little Don by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — It’s fashionable at the moment to discern an uncanny similarity between the “nut jobs” — one in New Jersey, the other in Pyongyang — who’ve been, for several days, pissing figuratively on one another’s shoes. Indeed, both Donald Trump and Kim Jong…
Read MoreOur common wealth
Our common wealth by David Benjamin “When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Will you give me a drink?’” — John 4:7 PARIS — The history of great cities always involves water — how much water the city consumes, where it comes from, what happens if there isn’t enough, who controls…
Read MoreSlobs abroad
Slobs abroad by David Benjamin “There ought to be a law prohibiting over three Americans going anywhere abroad together.” — Will Rogers PARIS — Tourists, tourists, tourists! You’re everywhere, and you’re underfoot. You bump into me, you bump into each other. What in God’s name are you eating? Why are you eating on the street? People…
Read MoreOn the Internet, nobody knows you're a Commie
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a Commie by David Benjamin “I believe Putin will continue to re-build the Russian Empire. He has zero respect for Obama or the U.S.!” — Donald Trump, 21 March 2014 PARIS — The Republicans have become a party of Commie dupes and Russian apparatchiks. In response to this charge, you…
Read MoreDeath on the Queen Mary
Death on the Queen Mary by David Benjamin SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC — Trust me. When I signed up for this trans-Atlantic crossing on the QM2 with my main squeeze, Hotlips, I wasn’t planning a busman’s holiday. All I wanted was to eat, drink, get up a five-day game of euchre and sack out…
Read MoreIt's all about the weld
It’s all about the weld by David Benjamin “What a newspaper needs in its news, in its headlines, and on its editorial page is terseness, humor, descriptive power, satire, originality, good literary style, clever condensation and accuracy, accuracy, accuracy.” — Joseph Pulitzer MADISON, Wis. — For one sweltering summer in Orlando, I was a cub steelworker.…
Read MoreBrevity is the soul of politics
Brevity is the soul of politics by David Benjamin “Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but stand there and take it.” — Lyndon Johnson MADISON, Wis. — Herbert Hoover sealed his political fate when he said, “Prosperity is just around the corner.” His problem? Verbosity. In politics you…
Read MoreBooksellers and booksmellers
Booksellers and booksmellers by David Benjamin “I know every book of mine by its scent, and I have but to put my nose between its pages to be reminded of all sorts of things.” — George Gissing MADISON, Wis. — I started smelling books — every serious reader does this — at the Tomah Public Library,…
Read MoreThe Whole Shebang
The Whole Shebang by David Benjamin “We bought the URL gofccyourself.com. If you simply go there, it will land you straight on this [FCC public comment] page, where all you have to do is hit ‘Express’ and ‘Comment,’ telling [FCC chief] Ajit Pai that you specifically support net neutrality backed by Title II oversight of…
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