Posts by David Benjamin
Front Porch Week in America
Front Porch Week in America by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — The history of Rockford College — which stubbornly persists in treating me as an alumnus despite my departure after only three semesters — has no record of a campus group, in the late 1960s, called the Chapultepec Social Club (CSC). Although the school’s administrators at…
Read MoreHomeland Security comes to Maple Street
Homeland Security comes to Maple Street by David Benjamin “And when you prosecute the parents for coming in illegally, which should happen, you have to take the children away.” — Donald Trump “When you cross… illegally, when you commit a crime, you are taken away from your family because that’s how this country works.” — Corey…
Read MoreThe boyhood of the unraveling pants
The boyhood of the unraveling pants by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — As I was riding the Métro in Paris awhile back, face-to-face with a lovely young thing, I noted — with a familiar sense of perplexity — that both the knee areas in her custom-blemished Levi-Strauss 501 jeans were torn and ravaged, framing her lovely…
Read MoreValues clarification for football fans
Values clarification for football fans by David Benjamin “You can’t fine somebody for a peaceful protest. We’re not out here holding signs, saying we don’t care about the troops or we don’t care about our country or whatever. It’s a peaceful protest, and it’s something as simple as people just expressing themselves and how they…
Read MoreRoseanne as Saint Joan
Roseanne as Saint Joan by David Benjamin “Black guys counting my money! I hate it… I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks.” — Trump “Look at my African-American over here! Look at him!” — Trump MADISON, Wis. — Roseanne Barr has been become,…
Read MoreThe John Reynolds factor
The John Reynolds factor by David Benjamin “If our leaders seek to conceal the truth, or we as people become accepting of alternative realities that are no longer grounded in facts, then we as American citizens are on a pathway to relinquishing our freedom.” — Rex Tillerson MADISON, Wis. — When a man widely regarded as…
Read MoreMelania’s make-believe (almost) happy ending
Melania’s make-believe (almost) happy ending by David Benjamin “The White House said that, instead of plagiarising the text, she had simply ‘added branding’ to the original content, to ‘amplify’ its message.” — Harriet Alexander, The Telegraph MADISON, Wis. — This is just not fair. Let’s stop right now with jokes about how the First Lady’s name…
Read MoreZen and the art of sexual predation
Zen and the art of sexual predation by David Benjamin “I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” — You-know-who MADISON, Wis. — Motoko Rich, in the Times, reported last week that a Japanese bureaucrat…
Read MoreSuckered by the rich guy
Suckered by the rich guy by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — For a while in grade school, I was friends with a kid named Fat Vinny. He wasn’t friends with me. Fat Vinny had no friends. He was the most hated kid in school — no. In the whole town. Other kids despised Fat Vinny so…
Read MoreA Trailing spouse
A trailing spouse by David Benjamin “He LIED! LIED! LIED! McCabe was totally controlled by Comey — McCabe is Comey!! No collusion, all made up by this den of thieves and lowlifes!” — Donald Trump, 13 Apr. TAIPEI — Too often, we tend to measure our lives by our irritations. We have, for instance, a White…
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