Posts by David Benjamin
The tragic tale of poor Serge, the one-fork, one-eyed Belgian
THURSDAY, MAY 22, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#677) The tragic tale of poor Serge, the one-fork, one-eyed Belgian by David Benjamin PARIS — At a café last week, Hotlips and I found that our waiter had provided us, to eat our repast, a single fork. This oversight, swiftly repaired, recalled a memory from my distant…
Read MoreThe death of Paris (greatly exaggerated)
FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#676) The death of Paris (greatly exaggerated) by David Benjamin PARIS — In mythology, Paris was a Trojan prince who left his first wife to steal Helen from Greece, cuckolding Helen’s hubby Menelaus and launching the Trojan War. In combat, Paris was a notorious coward eventually wounded by…
Read MoreWho is Ben Gozzy, and why the hell doesn’t he shut up?
FRIDAY, MAY 8, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#675) Who is Ben Gozzy, and why the hell doesn’t he shut up? by David Benjamin “Gowdy’s rapid ascent in the party fits closely with what House Republicans are doing in this midterm election year: abandoning any pretense of legislating in favor of unremitting hostilities with the White…
Read MoreWhy must I be a (filthy rich, 80-year-old) teenager in love?
FRIDAY, MAY 2, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#674) Why must I be a (filthy rich, 80-year-old) teenager in love? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — If you listen to the full nine-minute dialog between L.A. Clippers erstwhile owner Donald Sterling and his mistress, V. Stiviano, you come across one of those prickly been-there, done-that moments…
Read MoreMovie treatment: "North by Southwest by Way of Queens"
FRIDAY, APRIL 25, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#673) Movie treatment: North by Southwest by Way of Queens by David Benjamin (Opening scene, the Oak Room of a luxury New York hotel) Ad exec Roger Thornhill [played, ideally, by George Clooney but Matt Damon would be OK] phones his mom. Afterwards, he’s intercepted by suited thugs.…
Read MoreGoing "nuclear"
FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#671) Going “nuclear” by David Benjamin TO: Senators Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) and Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) FROM: Me Dear Senators Baldwin and Johnson: One of America’s stickiest dilemmas, lamented equally by Republicans and Democrats, is the decline of the single-breadwinner household, in which there’s always a parent at home…
Read MoreIs sex Republican?
FRIDAY, APRIL 11, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#671) Is sex Republican? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — After studying the sexual assault allegations by two women against Wisconsin state Rep. Bill Kramer, I can finally understand Missouri Congressman Todd Akin’s seemingly benighted views — blurted out last year — about “legitimate rape.” Evidently, Republicans like…
Read More“In the battle, we're tried and true…”
“Mammy’s power forward loves short’nin’ bread…”
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#669) by David Benjamin “Harry, that son of a bitch is ordering me to get some niggers in here. What am I going to do?” — Adolph Rupp MADISON, Wis. — The Badgers of the University of Wisconsin have the whitest team left in the NCAA basketball tournament.…
Read MoreBack to the Future IV
FRIDAY, MARCH 21, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#668) Back to the Future IV by David Benjamin “You ain’t nothin’ but a gutless yellow turd.” — Mad Dog Tannen MADISON, Wis. — Have you noticed how it’s downright freakish sometimes the way foreign affairs imitate art? I mean, I know I’m not the first to observe…
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