Posts by David Benjamin
Why must I be a (filthy rich, 80-year-old) teenager in love?
FRIDAY, MAY 2, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#674) Why must I be a (filthy rich, 80-year-old) teenager in love? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — If you listen to the full nine-minute dialog between L.A. Clippers erstwhile owner Donald Sterling and his mistress, V. Stiviano, you come across one of those prickly been-there, done-that moments…
Read MoreMovie treatment: "North by Southwest by Way of Queens"
FRIDAY, APRIL 25, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#673) Movie treatment: North by Southwest by Way of Queens by David Benjamin (Opening scene, the Oak Room of a luxury New York hotel) Ad exec Roger Thornhill [played, ideally, by George Clooney but Matt Damon would be OK] phones his mom. Afterwards, he’s intercepted by suited thugs.…
Read MoreGoing "nuclear"
FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#671) Going “nuclear” by David Benjamin TO: Senators Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) and Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) FROM: Me Dear Senators Baldwin and Johnson: One of America’s stickiest dilemmas, lamented equally by Republicans and Democrats, is the decline of the single-breadwinner household, in which there’s always a parent at home…
Read MoreIs sex Republican?
FRIDAY, APRIL 11, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#671) Is sex Republican? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — After studying the sexual assault allegations by two women against Wisconsin state Rep. Bill Kramer, I can finally understand Missouri Congressman Todd Akin’s seemingly benighted views — blurted out last year — about “legitimate rape.” Evidently, Republicans like…
Read More“In the battle, we're tried and true…”
“Mammy’s power forward loves short’nin’ bread…”
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#669) by David Benjamin “Harry, that son of a bitch is ordering me to get some niggers in here. What am I going to do?” — Adolph Rupp MADISON, Wis. — The Badgers of the University of Wisconsin have the whitest team left in the NCAA basketball tournament.…
Read MoreBack to the Future IV
FRIDAY, MARCH 21, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#668) Back to the Future IV by David Benjamin “You ain’t nothin’ but a gutless yellow turd.” — Mad Dog Tannen MADISON, Wis. — Have you noticed how it’s downright freakish sometimes the way foreign affairs imitate art? I mean, I know I’m not the first to observe…
Read MoreTrays, entitlement and the little brown bag
THURSDAY, MARCH 13, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#667) Trays, entitlement and the little brown bag by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Representative Paul Ryan’s frequent outbursts of pseudo-sociological insight are little noted nor long-remembered in the greater scheme of American rhetoric. But they tend to make me lose my cool and go all high-school. This…
Read MoreA natural woman
MONDAY, MARCH 10, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#666) A natural woman by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Hotlips, who was born in Hiroshima ten years after the Bomb, was among 51 honest-looking people who raised their right hands last week in a Milwaukee courthouse and lied their way into America. It would be nice to…
Read MoreYou gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood?
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#665) You gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood? by David Benjamin “… But at night, brother howlet, over the woods, Toll the world to thy chantry; Sing to the bats’ sleek sisterhoods Full complines with gallantry: Then, owls and bats, Cowls and twats, Monks and nuns,…
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