Posts by David Benjamin
The Fourth Ghost
by David Benjamin “So now Della’s beautiful hair fell about her, shining like a falling stream of brown water. It reached below her knee. It almost made itself into a dress for her.” — O. Henry, The Gift of the Magi Ebeneezer Scrooge awoke in a daze from a fitful sleep. Rubbing his face…
Read MorePandemic notes 5.0: Mutant swarms and Nashian furfurs
by David Benjamin “In plague, fear acts as a solvent on human relationships; it makes everyone an enemy and everyone an isolate. In plague, every man becomes… a small, haunted island of suspicion, fear and despair.” — John Kelly, The Great Mortality MADISON, Wis. — The Covid-19 pandemic has swollen the English lexicon and turned…
Read MoreHolster that dootenforzer, pardner!
by David Benjamin “… Now he turned my dial to channel one I knew that this was gonna be fun He turned my dial to channel two That station thrilled me through and through…” — Phil Medley and Bill Sanford, “TV Is the Thing This Year” MADISON, Wis. — There’s a tableau in Rob Reiner’s…
Read MoreMoving day
by David Benjamin “Unlike ‘Groundhog Day,’ which was funny, this isn’t funny at all” — David Fink, attorney for the City of Detroit THE WHITE HOUSE, 20 January 2021 — When the President and his wife tried to enter the Oval Office, the door would not open. It seemed to be obstructed from inside. After…
Read MoreSore loser
by David Benjamin “Now it is Biden’s moment… The moment of an American who understands that you can’t sculpt from rotten wood, and so every democracy requires the foundation of truth.” — Roger Cohen MADISON, Wis. — I’m the eternal political optimist, even in the wake of two presidential elections that would’ve prompted Pollyanna to…
Read MoreSunny, one so true…
by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — One of the reviews of my book, The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked, which is sort of a memoir, took note of the fact that I had let my dad off the hook for his human frailties and flagrant unfatherliness. The reviewer thought I should have…
Read MoreA few questions from the wrong side of the tracks
by David Benjamin “In Iowa, where politics is a popular sport, any competent candidate knows how to answer questions like ‘What is your all-time favorite Iowa State Fair butter sculpture?’ (The safest answer is the butter Last Supper).” —Ed Kilgore, New York magazine MADISON, Wis. — The great pitfall to being a “populist,” a callus-fingered…
Read MoreLepers, whores, B’rer Rabbit and Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah
by David Benjamin “In dis worl, lots of folks is gotter suffer fer udder folks’ sins. Look like hit’s mighty onwrong; but hit’s des dat away. Tribbalashun seem like she’s a-waitin’ roun’ de cornder fer ter ketch one en all un us, honey.” —Uncle Remus MADISON, Wis. — When I was a kid, obediently memorizing…
Read MoreNational Schadenfreude Week
by David Benjamin “Are we sure? Can we trust that? A man who so frequently and flamboyantly plays the victim, and who has been prophylactically compiling ways to explain away or dispute a projected election loss to Joe Biden, is now being forced off the campaign trail, which will be a monster of an excuse.”…
Read MorePandemic notes 4.0: The Murray Hamilton effect
by David Benjamin “Life on earth is an endless chain of parasitism which would soon lead to the complete annihilation of all living things unless the incorruptible workers of the vegetable kingdom constantly renewed the supply of suitable nitrogen and carbon compounds which other living things can filch… In the last analysis, man may be defined…
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