Society
Judge Sam and the revirginization of America
by David Benjamin “No pity. After the carnage we are left with the hope of a purified humanity.” ― Tristan Tzara, The Dada Manifesto 1918 PARIS — There is nothing more poisonous to civil society than purity. The purity police reared their shrouded form and bared their scythes again this week, in the pinched, pious…
Read MoreMy friend Katz, the right-wing shlemiel
by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Katz had the ball. God knows who passed it to him. He couldn’t dribble. Katz was a kid who couldn’t talk and adjust his glasses at the same time. He was the least coordinated kid in our gym class. If he tried to dribble, walk, talk or take his…
Read MoreCritical Arithmetic Theory and other parental fallacies
by David Benjamin “The digits 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 are Arabic numerals, developed in the 6th or 7th century in India and later introduced to Europe through the writings of Middle Eastern mathematicians, most notably Al-Khwarizmi and Al-Kindi, in the 12th century. These numerals paved the way for…
Read MoreThe child soldiers of football
by David Benjamin “I think that they’re making a terrible mistake and they’re injuring children’s brains. It’s the second child abuse crisis in the Catholic Church.” — Denny Doyle MADISON, Wis. — There’s a visionary in Cincinnati, although some consider him a crank, named Denny Doyle, who’s trying to convince the Catholic Youth Organization to…
Read MoreSympathy — with airtime — for the Devil
by David Benjamin “African slavery, as it exists in the United States, is a moral, a social, and a political blessing.” — Jefferson Davis MADISON, Wis. — The ratings for two Civil War retrospectives, aired Sunday on MSNBC, were probably lousy. I can only hope so. This documentary double-dip, Patricia Boynton’s “Civil War (Or, Who…
Read More“Who are those guys?”
by David Benjamin “We have had some just horrible, horrible confrontations in our public meetings in Anchorage, The top of the fold in the Anchorage paper is about an assembly meeting where individuals wore yellow Stars of David to protest the mask ordinance that the Anchorage Assembly was taking up, comparing a mask mandate to…
Read MorePandemic notes 7.0: The selective nihilism of Death Race ’21
by David Benjamin “A pestilence isn’t a thing made to man’s measure; therefore we tell ourselves that pestilence is a mere bogy of the mind, a bad dream that will pass away. But it doesn’t always pass away and, from one bad dream to another, it is men who pass away.” ― Albert Camus, The…
Read More“Peanuts”
by David Benjamin “We’ve watched babies survive at thirteen weeks and others, that be as small as an M&M wrapper and be able to have life.” — Kevin McCarthy, House minority leader MADISON, Wis., September 10, 2031 — A remarkable development here, in the laboratories of the University of Wisconsin, has effectively aborted America’s long…
Read MoreShe might have cookies
by David Benjamin “… Before I built a wall I’d ask to know What I was walling in or walling out, And to whom I was like to give offense. Something there is that doesn’t love a wall…” — Robert Frost, Mending Wall MADISON, Wis. — The East Side of this town is one of…
Read MoreThe Olivia Benson Constant
by David Benjamin “Women endure entire lifetimes of these indignities — in the form of catcalls, groping, assault, oppression. These things injure us. They sap our strength. Some of the cuts are so small they’re barely visible. Others are huge and gaping, leaving scars that never heal.” — Michelle Obama MADISON, Wis. — The worst…
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