Satire
Overheard at an ISIS barbecue
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2015 The Weekly Screed (#710) Overheard at an ISIS barbecue by David Benjamin SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA — A trio of Islamists — Ahmed, Mohammed and Kurlijo — gathered round a campfire, a Christian baby roasting on a spit. One says, “Ah, I love the smell of barbecued infidel in the morning.” “It’s…
Read MoreThe lost Nazi
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2015 The Weekly Screed (#709) The lost Nazi by David Benjamin PARIS — The report is sketchy, as usual. A Parisian living somewhere on the Left Bank went to his cave, or wine cellar, to fetch a bottle. He discerned there a furtive figure — a shadow, really. It flickered across the…
Read MoreI was Charlie
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2015 The Weekly Screed (#707) I was Charlie by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — MADISON, Wis. — Considering the travesty at Charlie Hebdo this month, you might think that the worst thing that could happen to a satirist is writing (or drawing) stuff that gets him killed. This ain’t necessarily so. Whether…
Read MoreAn interactive love story for the third millenium
SUNDAY, JANUARY 18, 2015 The Weekly Screed (#705) An interactive love story for the third millenium by David Benjamin LAS VEGAS — Fifteen years ago, just before the Consumer Electronics Show, Cisco Systems announced a deal with Whirlpool “to jointly build networked appliances, such as washing machines that can automatically detect mechanical problems and summon…
Read MoreMy mother, the raised ranch with detached garage
FRIDAY, JANUARY 16, 2015 The Weekly Screed (#704) My mother, the raised ranch with detached garage by David Benjamin LAS VEGAS — In the area of technology, the popular media tend to be more credulous than when they cover analog news like evolution, abortion and Big Bang cosmology. One of the whizbang wonders regularly revived…
Read MoreIzzy Glick, Nativity impresario
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#702) Izzy Glick, Nativity impresario by David Benjamin BETHLEHEM, 0 A.D. — Contrary to popular legend, the desk clerk at the inn — whose name was Nahim — was sympathetic to the bedraggled couple who arrived from Nazareth and asked for a room. After giving them the bad…
Read MoreDiary of a wetback skip tracer
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#700) Diary of a wetback skip tracer by David Benjamin “ICE deported almost 393,000 people from the U.S. in 2010. At $12,500 per person the cost to remove them was almost $5 billion.” — Associated Press This is the city. Los Angeles. I work here. I’m a dick.…
Read MoreApocalypse now… and tomorrow… and the day after that
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#696) Apocalypse now… and tomorrow… and the day after that by David Benjamin “Good morning, ladies and germs! It’s Monday, and I’m Fred Fiermonger, alongside my co-host Abigail Angst, and this is ‘Good Grief, America,’ your daily wake-up-and-smell-the-napalm call here on the Anecdotal News Network. As you all…
Read MoreA political scene we'd like to see
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#695) A political scene we’d like to see by David Benjamin (A proposed script — without talking points — for Mary Burke, Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate, at Friday night’s second debate.) “Good evening, everyone. I’m Mary Burke. So what, right? “Most of you don’t know me from a hole…
Read MoreIf you don’t buy this war, we’ll kill this dog
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#691) If you don’t buy this war, we’ll kill this dog by David Benjamin “The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. ‘Off with his head!’ she said, without even looking round.” — Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland MADISON, Wis. — With…
Read More