Politics
Massacre news: One-size-fits-all
by David Benjamin “Lord, when babies die at a church school, it is time for us to move beyond thoughts and prayers.” — Senate Chaplain Barry Black PARIS—Twenty-four years ago, in the innocent early days of America’s mass-shooting craze, I realized that atrocities like Devin Kelley’s church slaughter in Sutherland Springs, Stephen Paddocks’ turkey…
Read MoreEpitaphs for thirty-odd presidents
by David Benjamin “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” — Bill Clinton MADISON, Wis.—Listening to the news the other night, I heard an oft-repeated phrase that seemed to encapsulate what an ex-president had said and done, what he meant to America and how he’ll be remembered. Ideally, this handful of words…
Read MoreOriginalism ad absurdum
by David Benjamin “Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three…
Read MoreThe souls of white folks
by David Benjamin “… De Crawfishes, honey. Dey bo’d inter de groun’ en kep’ on bo’in twel dey onloost de fountains er de yeth; en de waters squirt out, en riz higher twel de hills wuz kivvered en de creeturs wuz all drowned; en all bekaze dey let on ‘mong deyselves dat dey wuz bigger…
Read MoreUnstatesmanlike conduct
by David Benjamin ““January 6 happened, and … I will tell you something. If Steve Bannon and I had organized that, we would have won. Not to mention, it would’ve been armed.” — Marjorie Taylor Greene MADISON, Wis.— During the same week that Kevin McCarthy sniveled, groveled and weaseled his way into an impotent Speakership…
Read MoreJack Smith throws in the towel
by David Benjamin “I don’t take responsibility at all.” — Trump WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a shocking Friday the 13th bombshell, Jack Smith, a Justice Department special counsel assigned by Attorney General Merrick Garland to hound Donald Trump to his grave, announced that all investigations of the ex-president have been indefinitely suspended. Smith, who brought to his…
Read MoreWhat if they gave a game and nobody (black) came?
by David Benjamin “Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words…
Read More“Remember the Olive Garden!”
by David Benjamin “The cup of forbearance had been exhausted… now, after reiterated menaces, Mexico has passed the boundary of the United States, has invaded our territory and shed American blood upon the American soil. She has proclaimed that hostilities have commenced, and that the two nations are now at war.” — President James K.…
Read MoreNobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
by David Benjamin ‘You remind me of a man.’ ‘What man?’ ‘The man with the power.’ ‘What power?’ ‘The power of hoodoo.’ ‘Hoodoo?’ ‘You do, remind me of a man.’ ‘What man?’…” — Cary Grant & Shirley Temple, The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer PARIS — Once, in my early worklife, on a Wednesday,…
Read MoreMandela? Is that a Muslim name?
by David Benjamin “They framed an ad that is chilling and kind of classic in its way. It features a portrait of this very scary looking, disheveled, wild-eyed black man. As [Lee] Atwater once said, by the end of this campaign, you’re going to think that Willie Horton is Michael Dukakis’ running mate.” — Bill…
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