The Weekly Screed

White trash elegy

By David Benjamin | 07/26/2024 | Comments Off on White trash elegy

by David Benjamin “How much of our lives, good and bad, should we credit to our personal decisions, and how much is just the inheritance of our culture, our families, and our parents who have failed their children? How much is Mom’s life her own fault? Where does blame stop and sympathy begin?” —J.D. Vance,…

Read More...

“Good afternoon, good evening and good night”

By David Benjamin | 07/18/2024 | Comments Off on “Good afternoon, good evening and good night”

by David Benjamin “An entire human life recorded on an intricate network of hidden cameras, and broadcast live and unedited, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to an audience around the globe. Coming to you now from Seahaven Island, enclosed in the largest studio ever constructed, and along with the Great Wall of…

Read More...

The disembodiment of little Bobby Shaftoe

By David Benjamin | 07/10/2024 | Comments Off on The disembodiment of little Bobby Shaftoe

by David Benjamin “Some eighth graders … had set up fake TikTok accounts impersonating teachers… “… In the days that followed, some 20 educators—about one quarter of the [Great Valley Middle] School’s faculty—discovered they were victims of fake teacher accounts rife with pedophilia innuendo, racist memes, homophobia and made-up sexual hookups among teachers. Hundreds of…

Read More...

The light from the tomb in the Temple of Doom

By David Benjamin | 07/03/2024 | Comments Off on The light from the tomb in the Temple of Doom

by David Benjamin “What can I add that has not already been said? A person that thinks those who defend their country in uniform, or are shot down or seriously wounded in combat, or spend years being tortured as POWs are all ‘suckers’ because ‘there is nothing in it for them.’ A person that did…

Read More...

Take the money and dribble

By David Benjamin | 06/27/2024 | Comments Off on Take the money and dribble

by David Benjamin   “We don’t go steady, ’cause it wouldn’t be right ”To leave your best girl home on a Saturday night.”    —The Beach Boys, “I Get Around”   MADISON, Wis.—Notwithstanding the moral clarity articulated in “I Get Around,” the Beach Boys are among the less appreciated ethical philosophers of the past millennium.…

Read More...

Suffer the children …

By David Benjamin | 06/21/2024 | Comments Off on Suffer the children …

by David Benjamin   “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s ass …”   Exodus, 20:17   And so it came to pass that the Republicans of Louisiana decreed that all classrooms in each school of every parish shall array the graven precepts handed to Moses by the Lord and shlepped down from the mount to…

Read More...

The original Chucky

By David Benjamin | 06/14/2024 | Comments Off on The original Chucky

by David Benjamin   “Death’s gruesome face taunts:/ soulless eyes, crimson grimace. I really hate clowns.”  ― Katherine Applegate   MADISON, Wis.—Apparently, like its protagonist, the “Chucky” horror-film and TV franchise will never expire. I’ve just noticed promos for a new season of episodes featuring the further exploits of a homicidal boy doll who bears…

Read More...

John Ford’s mortal sin

By David Benjamin | 06/06/2024 | Comments Off on John Ford’s mortal sin

by David Benjamin   “The river was dyed with the blood of the slaughtered for two hundred yards. The approximate loss was upward of five hundred killed, but few of the officers escaping. My loss was about twenty killed. It is hoped that these facts will demonstrate to the Northern people that Negro soldiers cannot…

Read More...

The ravaging of Mr. Bartley

By David Benjamin | 05/31/2024 | Comments Off on The ravaging of Mr. Bartley

by David Benjamin   “Colorful demonstrations and weekend marches are vital but alone are not powerful enough to stop wars. Wars will be stopped only when soldiers refuse to fight, when workers refuse to load weapons onto ships and aircraft, when people boycott the economic outposts of Empire.”  ― Arundhati Roy   MADISON, Wis.—There was…

Read More...

My name is Sergeant Fozmerlude … I’m a floop.

By David Benjamin | 05/23/2024 | Comments Off on My name is Sergeant Fozmerlude … I’m a floop.

by David Benjamin   “Mary had a blicken oof. Its prooze was white as werf. And glutendot that Mary gleat, The oof was sure to gerf.”  ― Garry Moore   MADISON, Wis.—Sean Connery stopped me cold the other night while I was watching The Untouchables, director Brian De Palma’s masterpiece. Playing the role of tough…

Read More...