Posts by David Benjamin
Slobs abroad
Slobs abroad by David Benjamin “There ought to be a law prohibiting over three Americans going anywhere abroad together.” — Will Rogers PARIS — Tourists, tourists, tourists! You’re everywhere, and you’re underfoot. You bump into me, you bump into each other. What in God’s name are you eating? Why are you eating on the street? People…
Read MoreOn the Internet, nobody knows you're a Commie
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a Commie by David Benjamin “I believe Putin will continue to re-build the Russian Empire. He has zero respect for Obama or the U.S.!” — Donald Trump, 21 March 2014 PARIS — The Republicans have become a party of Commie dupes and Russian apparatchiks. In response to this charge, you…
Read MoreDeath on the Queen Mary
Death on the Queen Mary by David Benjamin SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC — Trust me. When I signed up for this trans-Atlantic crossing on the QM2 with my main squeeze, Hotlips, I wasn’t planning a busman’s holiday. All I wanted was to eat, drink, get up a five-day game of euchre and sack out…
Read MoreIt's all about the weld
It’s all about the weld by David Benjamin “What a newspaper needs in its news, in its headlines, and on its editorial page is terseness, humor, descriptive power, satire, originality, good literary style, clever condensation and accuracy, accuracy, accuracy.” — Joseph Pulitzer MADISON, Wis. — For one sweltering summer in Orlando, I was a cub steelworker.…
Read MoreBrevity is the soul of politics
Brevity is the soul of politics by David Benjamin “Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but stand there and take it.” — Lyndon Johnson MADISON, Wis. — Herbert Hoover sealed his political fate when he said, “Prosperity is just around the corner.” His problem? Verbosity. In politics you…
Read MoreBooksellers and booksmellers
Booksellers and booksmellers by David Benjamin “I know every book of mine by its scent, and I have but to put my nose between its pages to be reminded of all sorts of things.” — George Gissing MADISON, Wis. — I started smelling books — every serious reader does this — at the Tomah Public Library,…
Read MoreThe Whole Shebang
The Whole Shebang by David Benjamin “We bought the URL gofccyourself.com. If you simply go there, it will land you straight on this [FCC public comment] page, where all you have to do is hit ‘Express’ and ‘Comment,’ telling [FCC chief] Ajit Pai that you specifically support net neutrality backed by Title II oversight of…
Read MoreBreaking good, eventually
Breaking good, eventually by David Benjamin “I was sure I was going to get that scholarship. My dad of course was sure I wasn’t. When I didn’t, he was real understanding, you know. He loves to do that. He loves to be understanding when I fail.” — Cyril, in Breaking Away MADISON, Wis.— Movie scenes haunt…
Read MoreMythic pizza
Mythic pizza by David Benjamin “You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.” — Yogi Berra MADISON, Wis.— So, there I was — about a month ago — standing on the sidewalk on a clammy night in Taipei, hip-deep amongst the hip, the young and the trendy, watching…
Read MoreWhat if Mrs. Murphy had been there?
What if Mrs. Murphy had been there? by David Benjamin “… Trump’s senior advisers fear leaving him alone in meetings with foreign leaders out of concern he might speak out of turn. General McMaster, in particular, has tried to insert caveats or gentle corrections into conversations when he believes the president is straying off topic…
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