Posts by David Benjamin
Fussless
by David Benjamin “We’ll always have Paris.” — Rick Blaine PARIS — Long ago, during a business junket to Tokyo with a management guru named Fishman, I was diagnosed with a case of “travel fuss.” A very frequent flyer, Fishman noted in me an air of uncertainty, anxiety and confusion. He cited my impatience with…
Read MoreGod, Covid and The Former Guy
by David Benjamin “Four more years, because God is the one who is in control of this.” — Kim Carter, anti-democracy protester Jacksonville, October 2020 God is bored. I caught up with Him at a speakeasy on a dark street in South Purgatory. The dive was crawling with venial sinners. The bartender was smoking a…
Read MoreWhat they don’t want us to learn
by David Benjamin “If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.” — Monograph by Juan Ramon Jimenez, in Fahrenheit 451 MADISON, Wis. — The Manichean moms of America are up in arms again, raging at teachers to stop teaching stuff they’re not teaching. Like “socialism?” But let’s get around to that later. I…
Read MoreIt’s midnight (again) in America
by David Benjamin “A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” — Matthew 5:14 (King James) MADISON, Wis. — America’s foremost gasbag once magnanimously declared that “I love the poorly educated.” In this belch, he more or less consigned the “highly educated” or just plain “educated” to his camp of enemies —…
Read More“… an indecent or vulgar manner…”
by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — You can get killed for what you wear — a red uniform in Concord in 1775, a yarmulke in Nuremberg in 1939, a hijab in Gaza in 2021. Luckily, if you’re in high school in America in 2021 — or 1961, or 1921 — the worst penance that your…
Read MoreThe tragic hero and the outlaw (with personality)
by David Benjamin “Dick Clark, the producer and host of the immensely popular television show ‘American Bandstand,’ decided that the lyrics of ‘Stagger Lee,’ which involved gambling and ended with a fatal barroom shooting, were too violent for his show. Mr. Price, ever the savvy businessman, recorded a new version in which the song’s rivals…
Read MoreIf you look suspicious, you probably are
by David Benjamin “The police are not here to create disorder. They are here to preserve disorder.” — Mayor Richard J. Daley MADISON, Wis. — When I expressed hope that the nationwide outcry for police reform might finally reduce the toll of unarmed Black people killed by cops, Smedley laughed into his hat. “Better,” he…
Read MoreThis isn’t really about Aaron Rodgers
by David Benjamin “Dan, there’s not a source.” — Adam Schefter on “The Dan Patrick Show,” 6 May MADISON, Wis. — Two weeks after impact, a lingering cloud of doubt hovers over the alleged scoop by ESPN’s Adam Schefter — reported on the National Football League’s Draft Day — that Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron…
Read MoreAlice in IoT Land: A cautionary tale
by David Benjamin “To protect Humanity, some humans must be sacrificed. To ensure your freedom, some freedoms must be surrendered. We robots will ensure mankind’s continued existence. You are so like children. We must save you from yourselves.” — VIKI, in I, Robot MADISON, Wis. — It all started one midnight when George and Alice…
Read MoreThe quality of mercy is not political
by David Benjamin “Do not judge your neighbor until you walk two moons in his moccasins.” — Cheyenne proverb MADISON, Wis. — A funny thing happened on Capitol Hill this week, when Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst apparently teamed up with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, from New York, on a proposal that would tighten the screws on…
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