My annual soccer tirade

by David Benjamin “I am lucky enough in my life to come across some of the most talented athletes in soccer. And President Trump is made of the same sort of fibre.” —Gianni Infantino, FIFA president PARIS—Largely because I depend on its frequent flyer program for early boarding and free luggage, I’ve been “loyal” to…

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The line that lingers

by David Benjamin “Vinnie and Hawk lounged in the theater lobby, blending in to the theatrical scene like two coyotes at a poultry festival.” —Robert B. Parker, Walking Shadow MADISON, Wis.—In my newspaper days, it was necessary, if I wanted coverage of high-school sports in my circulation range, to teach a kid from the high……

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It’s only a hypothesis

by David Benjamin “I love coffee, I love tea/ I love the java jive and it loves me/ Coffee and tea and the java and me/ A cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, boy … ” —Milton Drake & Ben Oakland MADISON, Wis.—“No coffee?” I cried. “What the hell do you mean,…

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Father might know best, but who cares?

by David Benjamin “We cannot get away from the fact that a child is hard-wired to bond with mom. They know her smell, they know her heartbeat, they know her voice. I just think, why should we deny that?” —Jenet Erickson, Institute for Family Studies MADISON, Wis.—I wasn’t interested in my mother. She pretty much…

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The aural imperative

by David Benjamin “ … You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations. There are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. there is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane,……

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Faster than the speediest pedestrian

MADISON, Wis.—My worst bicycle crash happened when I was in sixth grade, coming down the hill from St. Mary’s School. The hill, pretty much the only one in town, was steep, wide and paved for speed. I wasn’t astride my bike, just perched on the left-side pedal, coasting toward Ninneman’s Funeral Home. My path was…

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Behind closed doors at the Conclave

by David Benjamin THE VATICAN, 29 April—The first day of the conclave of cardinals to choose a successor to Pope Francis has ended in traditional disarray. Afterward, two furtive figures, recognizable as a Monsignor O’Malley and Cardinal Bellini, an American prelate who bears an eerie resemblance to Stanley Tucci, enter the Chapel men’s room. Msgr.…

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The power and peril of preconception

by David Benjamin “That the Jester should be brother to the Sage may sound like blasphemy, yet our language reflects the close relationship : the word ‘witticism’ is derived from ‘wit’ in its original sense of ingenuity, inventiveness. Jester and savant must both ‘live on their wits’…” ―Arthur Koestler, The Act of Creation MADISON, Wis.—Every……

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Field of miscreants

by David Benjamin “Growing up is a ritual, more deadly than religion, more complicated than baseball, for there seem to be no rules. Everything is experienced for the first time.” ― W.P. Kinsella, Shoeless Joe MADISON, Wis.—In the Wisconsin town where I lived ’til I was thirteen, there were two “official” baseball fields, complete with…

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The deep end of the no-talent pool

by David Benjamin “[Peter] Navarro is dumber than a sack of bricks.” — Elon Musk MADISON, Wis.—My friend Smedley has survived for decades as a Washington D.C. “insider.” The secret of his success is a chameleonlike knack for adjusting to the ebb and flow of the ideological tides in American politics. He keenly predicted, during…

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