Archive for 2014
Big Bill Benjamin — not to be mistaken for Ward Cleaver
TUESDAY, JULY 1, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#682) Big Bill Benjamin — not to be mistaken for Ward Cleaver by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — My father was largely absent from my life for more than 20 years — during which, presumably, my character was being (mal)formed. As I commiserated at Dad’s funeral among my…
Read MoreWhat about Bob?
THURSDAY, JUNE 12, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#680) What about Bob? by David Benjamin “Grosscup here.” “Hello… I’m calling for a Mr. G. Grayling Grosscup, chief executive officer of… let’s see… Gilt Edge Investment Strategies.” “Speaking.” “Oh! Well, hi there. My name is Rosalie Higby — with H.R., at Amalgamated Tanaka USA. Mr. Grosscup, as…
Read MoreThe Bergdahl paradox
THURSDAY, JUNE 5, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#679) The Bergdahl paradox by David Benjamin “There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be…
Read MoreGreed on Grub Street
THURSDAY, MAY 29, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#678) Greed on Grub Street by David Benjamin “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.” — Samuel Johnson MADISON, Wis. — The other day, optimistically, I clicked my way over to Vox, Ezra Klein’s spiffy new online news site. But, as soon as I got…
Read MoreThe tragic tale of poor Serge, the one-fork, one-eyed Belgian
THURSDAY, MAY 22, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#677) The tragic tale of poor Serge, the one-fork, one-eyed Belgian by David Benjamin PARIS — At a café last week, Hotlips and I found that our waiter had provided us, to eat our repast, a single fork. This oversight, swiftly repaired, recalled a memory from my distant…
Read MoreThe death of Paris (greatly exaggerated)
FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#676) The death of Paris (greatly exaggerated) by David Benjamin PARIS — In mythology, Paris was a Trojan prince who left his first wife to steal Helen from Greece, cuckolding Helen’s hubby Menelaus and launching the Trojan War. In combat, Paris was a notorious coward eventually wounded by…
Read MoreWho is Ben Gozzy, and why the hell doesn’t he shut up?
FRIDAY, MAY 8, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#675) Who is Ben Gozzy, and why the hell doesn’t he shut up? by David Benjamin “Gowdy’s rapid ascent in the party fits closely with what House Republicans are doing in this midterm election year: abandoning any pretense of legislating in favor of unremitting hostilities with the White…
Read MoreWhy must I be a (filthy rich, 80-year-old) teenager in love?
FRIDAY, MAY 2, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#674) Why must I be a (filthy rich, 80-year-old) teenager in love? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — If you listen to the full nine-minute dialog between L.A. Clippers erstwhile owner Donald Sterling and his mistress, V. Stiviano, you come across one of those prickly been-there, done-that moments…
Read MoreMovie treatment: "North by Southwest by Way of Queens"
FRIDAY, APRIL 25, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#673) Movie treatment: North by Southwest by Way of Queens by David Benjamin (Opening scene, the Oak Room of a luxury New York hotel) Ad exec Roger Thornhill [played, ideally, by George Clooney but Matt Damon would be OK] phones his mom. Afterwards, he’s intercepted by suited thugs.…
Read MoreGoing "nuclear"
FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#671) Going “nuclear” by David Benjamin TO: Senators Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) and Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) FROM: Me Dear Senators Baldwin and Johnson: One of America’s stickiest dilemmas, lamented equally by Republicans and Democrats, is the decline of the single-breadwinner household, in which there’s always a parent at home…
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