The Weekly Screed

The guy behind the counter knows everything

By David Benjamin | 04/27/2023 | Comments Off on The guy behind the counter knows everything

by David Benjamin  “I’ll have what she’s having.” —Older lady customer at Katz’s deli, When Harry Met Sally   PARIS—As I was wedging my way between two thirsty Frenchmen and awaiting eye contact with the publican behind the bar at Le Baron Rouge, a wine and oyster oasis near the ancient Marché d’Aligre, I thought…

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Loo-ie, Loo-ie … Me gotta go now

By David Benjamin | 04/20/2023 | Comments Off on Loo-ie, Loo-ie … Me gotta go now

by David Benjamin  “The trail of lime trees outside our building is still a public loo … where else are they supposed to go to the toilet in a city where public toilets are about as common as UFO sightings?” —Sarah Turnbull, Almost French: Love and a New Life in Paris   PARIS—Anyone who has…

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The great Texas fart fuss

By David Benjamin | 04/16/2023 | Comments Off on The great Texas fart fuss

by David Benjamin  “Several of the books in question in Llano County have L.G.B.T.Q. themes or characters, or addressed racial inequality, but they also include goofy children’s titles, such as a series of picture books about flatulence.” —N.Y.Times, 13 April   PARIS—Sometimes, I think Congress decided to annex Texas to the USA for the sake…

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The campus Communist

By David Benjamin | 04/06/2023 | Comments Off on The campus Communist

by David Benjamin  “If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to say what people do not want to hear.” — George Orwell   MADISON, Wis.—Although I can’t track down the quotation, I recall somehow that Lillian Hellman once said something to the effect that feminism is the art of winning small battles…

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Massacre news: One-size-fits-all

By David Benjamin | 03/30/2023 | Comments Off on Massacre news: One-size-fits-all

by David Benjamin  “Lord, when babies die at a church school, it is time for us to move beyond thoughts and prayers.” — Senate Chaplain Barry Black   PARIS—Twenty-four years ago, in the innocent early days of America’s mass-shooting craze, I realized that atrocities like Devin Kelley’s church slaughter in Sutherland Springs, Stephen Paddocks’ turkey…

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Epitaphs for thirty-odd presidents

By David Benjamin | 03/23/2023 | Comments Off on Epitaphs for thirty-odd presidents

by David Benjamin   “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”  — Bill Clinton   MADISON, Wis.—Listening to the news the other night, I heard an oft-repeated phrase that seemed to encapsulate what an ex-president had said and done, what he meant to America and how he’ll be remembered. Ideally, this handful of words…

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The sound of love (or maybe just juvenile infatuation)

By David Benjamin | 03/16/2023 | Comments Off on The sound of love (or maybe just juvenile infatuation)

by David Benjamin “For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.” — John Greenleaf  Whittier   MADISON, Wis. — Lately, I’ve been haunted my the memory of a girl who broke my heart 54 years ago. I suffer these pangs of nostalgia because my car has a compact…

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The closing of the famous mind

By David Benjamin | 03/09/2023 | Comments Off on The closing of the famous mind

by David Benjamin “The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility; humility is endless.” — T.S. Eliot   MADISON, Wis. — For a writer, humility is a survival strategy. I get reminders of this on a daily basis. The silver lining about being humiliated, often by anonymous strangers, is that the…

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The empty seat

By David Benjamin | 03/01/2023 | Comments Off on The empty seat

by David Benjamin “I had given up my seat before, but this day, I was especially tired. Tired from my work as a seamstress, and tired from the ache in my heart.” — Rosa Parks   CHIGASAKI, Japan — Last week, sitting (thankfully) on the crowded Tokaido Line commuter train between Yokohama and Odawara, I had…

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Originalism ad absurdum

By David Benjamin | 02/18/2023 | Comments Off on Originalism ad absurdum

by David Benjamin “Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three…

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