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The Weekly Screed
A few questions for the populist in chief by David Benjamin “People who boast about their IQ are losers.” — Stephen Hawking Not long ago, Donald Trump spent years demanding that President Barack Obama produce his birth certificate and prove that he was a natural-born citizen. Trump also wanted to see the president’s college transcripts,…
Read More...With apologies to Dangerous Dan McGrew by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Blizzard of ’78, a thousand-year northeaster that buried New England under four feet of wet snow in a span of a little more than 24 hours. The vortex of that storm was a little town…
Read More...Overheard at the pinnacle of tremendousness by David Benjamin “Putin has shown the world what happens when America has weak leaders.” — Donald Trump One of the most shocking revelations in recent days was a leak, verified by more than 75 eager sources inside the White House, confirming that Donald Trump has taken Dick Nixon’s…
Read More...Chuck, the assassin and the crazy aunt by David Benjamin “I expect the majority leader to fulfill his commitment to the Senate, to me and to the bipartisan group and abide by this agreement. If he does not, of course — and I expect he will — he will have breached the trust of not…
Read More...Talking the talk is not enough by David Benjamin The family of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., has asked Americans to honor the slain civil-rights leader on his birthday by some act of public service. My gesture this year consists of a letter, mailed on 15 January, to Congresswoman Mia Love (R-Utah) who has…
Read More...Ou sont les gadgets d’antan? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — We came to know him as Franky the Hawk but he was actually a peregrine falcon. He used to visit our bird feeder in California, looking for breakfast. He always got served. Whenever Franky flew in, I halted my labors to watch life and…
Read More...Plus ça change… by David Benjamin “In the noisy aftermath of babble and talk and jokes and laughter, the junior Senator from Wyoming exchanged a look of open hostility with the senior Senator from Utah; the senior Senator from South Carolina, looking as sleepy and somnolent as before, gave one small chuckle and slapped the…
Read More...Colder than a catlicker’s nose by David Benjamin “We strongly encourage all New Yorkers to stay inside as much as possible… as the cold weather continues. Check on neighbors when you can and bring your pets inside.” — Mayor Bill De Blasio, New York City, temp. 19° F “That’s winter in Wisconsin. It’s nothing really…
Read More...New York polite by David Benjamin “It is one of the sublime provincialities of New York that its inhabitants lap up trivial gossip about essential nobodies they’ve never set eyes on, while continuing to boast that they could live somewhere for twenty years without so much as exchanging pleasantries with their neighbors across the hall.”…
Read More...Perverted and proud by David Benjamin “Thou shalt not diddle thy neighbor’s daughter.” — Eleventh Commandment, Exodus 20; 17.5 (deleted) MADISON, Wis. — The Internet is just brimming over with surprises — like the other day when I tried to access the NAACP, for reaction to the election of Democratic senatorial candidate Doug Jones, a…
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