The Weekly Screed

“Mammy’s power forward loves short’nin’ bread…”

By David Benjamin | 03/26/2014 | Comments Off on “Mammy’s power forward loves short’nin’ bread…”

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#669) by David Benjamin “Harry, that son of a bitch is ordering me to get some niggers in here. What am I going to do?” — Adolph Rupp MADISON, Wis. — The Badgers of the University of Wisconsin have the whitest team left in the NCAA basketball tournament.…

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Back to the Future IV

By David Benjamin | 03/21/2014 | Comments Off on Back to the Future IV

FRIDAY, MARCH 21, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#668) Back to the Future IV by David Benjamin “You ain’t nothin’ but a gutless yellow turd.” — Mad Dog Tannen MADISON, Wis. — Have you noticed how it’s downright freakish sometimes the way foreign affairs imitate art? I mean, I know I’m not the first to observe…

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Trays, entitlement and the little brown bag

By David Benjamin | 03/13/2014 | Comments Off on Trays, entitlement and the little brown bag

THURSDAY, MARCH 13, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#667) Trays, entitlement and the little brown bag by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Representative Paul Ryan’s frequent outbursts of pseudo-sociological insight are little noted nor long-remembered in the greater scheme of American rhetoric. But they tend to make me lose my cool and go all high-school. This…

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A natural woman

By David Benjamin | 03/10/2014 | Comments Off on A natural woman

MONDAY, MARCH 10, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#666) A natural woman by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Hotlips, who was born in Hiroshima ten years after the Bomb, was among 51 honest-looking people who raised their right hands last week in a Milwaukee courthouse and lied their way into America. It would be nice to…

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You gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood?

By David Benjamin | 02/28/2014 | Comments Off on You gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood?

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#665) You gonna argue with a guy named Hensleigh Wedgwood? by David Benjamin “… But at night, brother howlet, over the woods, Toll the world to thy chantry; Sing to the bats’ sleek sisterhoods Full complines with gallantry: Then, owls and bats, Cowls and twats, Monks and nuns,…

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"Drop that shih-tzu, or I'll shootcha!"

By David Benjamin | 02/20/2014 | Comments Off on "Drop that shih-tzu, or I'll shootcha!"

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#664) “Drop that shih-tzu, or I’ll shootcha!” by David Benjamin “… ‘Watch it!’ [Cordell] Jude yelled to Adkins, who was mentally disabled, according to USA Today. Adkins then swung what looked like a pipe in the air and Jude shot and killed him — the pipe-like object turned…

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Things kids used to do

By David Benjamin | 02/13/2014 | Comments Off on Things kids used to do

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#663) Things kids used to do by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Let’s say you’re about 13 years old and you’re walking along next to the highway… You noticed, didn’t you? We’re not talking about a contemporary 13-year-old here, are we? This is a way-long time ago, like…

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Judge not, lest ye be screwed by the Russian judge

By David Benjamin | 02/08/2014 | Comments Off on Judge not, lest ye be screwed by the Russian judge

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#662) Judge not, lest ye be screwed by the Russian judge by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — The first Olympics in my recollection were the 1960 Winter Games in Squaw Valley. The memories, in grainy black and white, consist almost entirely of endless, redundant ski jumping (on tiny…

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Why is this man bellyaching?

By David Benjamin | 02/05/2014 | Comments Off on Why is this man bellyaching?

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#661) Why is this man bellyaching? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — Bill Schoonover is alive and cancerous, and living in Oak Harbor, Washington. I know about Bill because Judy, my Republican friend in Fort Myers, is hooked into the Right-Wing Chain Letter Network. Judy thoughtfully shared with…

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Sky lantern

By David Benjamin | 02/05/2014 | Comments Off on Sky lantern

FRIDAY, JANUARY 24, 2014 The Weekly Screed (#660) Sky lantern by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — When I look back, my friendship with Paul Keeffe seemed to spring up almost instantaneously. On first sight, there was a glint of mischief in his eyes that told me he was One of Us. He was a new…

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