The Weekly Screed

Overheard at the pinnacle of tremendousness

By David Benjamin | 01/31/2018 | Comments Off on Overheard at the pinnacle of tremendousness

Overheard at the pinnacle of tremendousness by David Benjamin “Putin has shown the world what happens when America has weak leaders.” — Donald Trump One of the most shocking revelations in recent days was a leak, verified by more than 75 eager sources inside the White House, confirming that Donald Trump has taken Dick Nixon’s…

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Chuck, the assassin and the crazy aunt

By David Benjamin | 01/26/2018 | Comments Off on Chuck, the assassin and the crazy aunt

Chuck, the assassin and the crazy aunt by David Benjamin “I expect the majority leader to fulfill his commitment to the Senate, to me and to the bipartisan group and abide by this agreement. If he does not, of course — and I expect he will — he will have breached the trust of not…

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Talking the talk is not enough

By David Benjamin | 01/16/2018 | Comments Off on Talking the talk is not enough

Talking the talk is not enough by David Benjamin The family of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., has asked Americans to honor the slain civil-rights leader on his birthday by some act of public service. My gesture this year consists of a letter, mailed on 15 January, to Congresswoman Mia Love (R-Utah) who has…

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Ou sont les gadgets d'antan?

By David Benjamin | 01/13/2018 | Comments Off on Ou sont les gadgets d'antan?

Ou sont les gadgets d’antan? by David Benjamin MADISON, Wis. — We came to know him as Franky the Hawk but he was actually a peregrine falcon. He used to visit our bird feeder in California, looking for breakfast. He always got served. Whenever Franky flew in, I halted my labors to watch life and…

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Plus ça change…

By David Benjamin | 01/04/2018 | Comments Off on Plus ça change…

Plus ça change… by David Benjamin “In the noisy aftermath of babble and talk and jokes and laughter, the junior Senator from Wyoming exchanged a look of open hostility with the senior Senator from Utah; the senior Senator from South Carolina, looking as sleepy and somnolent as before, gave one small chuckle and slapped the…

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Colder than a catlicker's nose

By David Benjamin | 12/28/2017 | Comments Off on Colder than a catlicker's nose

Colder than a catlicker’s nose by David Benjamin “We strongly encourage all New Yorkers to stay inside as much as possible… as the cold weather continues. Check on neighbors when you can and bring your pets inside.” — Mayor Bill De Blasio, New York City, temp. 19° F “That’s winter in Wisconsin. It’s nothing really…

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New York polite

By David Benjamin | 12/21/2017 | Comments Off on New York polite

New York polite by David Benjamin “It is one of the sublime provincialities of New York that its inhabitants lap up trivial gossip about essential nobodies they’ve never set eyes on, while continuing to boast that they could live somewhere for twenty years without so much as exchanging pleasantries with their neighbors across the hall.”…

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Perverted and proud

By David Benjamin | 12/15/2017 | Comments Off on Perverted and proud

Perverted and proud by David Benjamin “Thou shalt not diddle thy neighbor’s daughter.” — Eleventh Commandment, Exodus 20; 17.5 (deleted) MADISON, Wis. — The Internet is just brimming over with surprises — like the other day when I tried to access the NAACP, for reaction to the election of Democratic senatorial candidate Doug Jones, a…

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Barn cats, Botox and fiscal conservatism

By David Benjamin | 12/08/2017 | Comments Off on Barn cats, Botox and fiscal conservatism

Barn cats, Botox and fiscal conservatism by David Benjamin “I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing. As opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.” — Sen. Chuck Grassley Ever since mein Drumpfenfeuhrer started stumping for the…

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"No room at the inn"

By David Benjamin | 12/01/2017 | Comments Off on "No room at the inn"

“No room at the inn” by David Benjamin It was a bitterly cold winter afternoon, in a month that would someday be known as December, in the town of Bethlehem, when the weary newlyweds — a dewy maiden big with child and her grizzled sexagenarian spouse — limped into the little hamlet. The girl was…

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