The Weekly Screed

Holster that dootenforzer, pardner!

By David Benjamin | 11/19/2020 | Comments Off on Holster that dootenforzer, pardner!

by David Benjamin  “… Now he turned my dial to channel one I knew that this was gonna be fun He turned my dial to channel two That station thrilled me through and through…” — Phil Medley and Bill Sanford, “TV Is the Thing This Year” MADISON, Wis. — There’s a tableau in Rob Reiner’s…

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Moving day

By David Benjamin | 11/12/2020 | Comments Off on Moving day

by David Benjamin  “Unlike ‘Groundhog Day,’ which was funny, this isn’t funny at all” — David Fink, attorney for the City of Detroit THE WHITE HOUSE, 20 January 2021 — When the President and his wife tried to enter the Oval Office, the door would not open. It seemed to be obstructed from inside. After…

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Sore loser

By David Benjamin | 11/07/2020 | Comments Off on Sore loser

by David Benjamin  “Now it is Biden’s moment… The moment of an American who understands that you can’t sculpt from rotten wood, and so every democracy requires the foundation of truth.” — Roger Cohen MADISON, Wis. — I’m the eternal political optimist, even in the wake of  two presidential elections that would’ve prompted Pollyanna to…

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Sunny, one so true…

By David Benjamin | 10/28/2020 | Comments Off on Sunny, one so true…

by David Benjamin  MADISON, Wis. — One of the reviews of my book, The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked, which is sort of a memoir, took note of the fact that I had let my dad off the hook for his human frailties and flagrant unfatherliness. The reviewer thought I should have…

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A few questions from the wrong side of the tracks

By David Benjamin | 10/21/2020 | Comments Off on A few questions from the wrong side of the tracks

by David Benjamin “In Iowa, where politics is a popular sport, any competent candidate knows how to answer questions like ‘What is your all-time favorite Iowa State Fair butter sculpture?’ (The safest answer is the butter Last Supper).” —Ed Kilgore, New York magazine MADISON, Wis. — The great pitfall to being a “populist,” a callus-fingered…

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Lepers, whores, B’rer Rabbit and Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah

By David Benjamin | 10/13/2020 | Comments Off on Lepers, whores, B’rer Rabbit and Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah

by David Benjamin “In dis worl, lots of folks is gotter suffer fer udder folks’ sins. Look like hit’s mighty onwrong; but hit’s des dat away. Tribbalashun seem like she’s a-waitin’ roun’ de cornder fer ter ketch one en all un us, honey.” —Uncle Remus MADISON, Wis. — When I was a kid, obediently memorizing…

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National Schadenfreude Week

By David Benjamin | 10/03/2020 | Comments Off on National Schadenfreude Week

by David Benjamin “Are we sure? Can we trust that? A man who so frequently and flamboyantly plays the victim, and who has been prophylactically compiling ways to explain away or dispute a projected election loss to Joe Biden, is now being forced off the campaign trail, which will be a monster of an excuse.”…

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Pandemic notes 4.0: The Murray Hamilton effect

By David Benjamin | 09/30/2020 | Comments Off on Pandemic notes 4.0: The Murray Hamilton effect

by David Benjamin “Life on earth is an endless chain of parasitism which would soon lead to the complete annihilation of all living things unless the incorruptible workers of the vegetable kingdom constantly renewed the supply of suitable nitrogen and carbon compounds which other living things can filch… In the last analysis, man may be defined…

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The greatest spy hunt in history

By David Benjamin | 09/23/2020 | Comments Off on The greatest spy hunt in history

by David Benjamin “[The Mueller investigation is] the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!”  ― Donald John Trump MADISON, Wis. — The most thrilling, dramatic and earthshaking revelation of the Trump era in America is still almost entirely secret and might well remain uncovered beyond many of our lifetimes. It has…

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Everybody wants to be the underdog

By David Benjamin | 09/19/2020 | Comments Off on Everybody wants to be the underdog

by David Benjamin “All through grade school, I had seen the tall, the strong, the swift, the comely, the bright and affluent among my peers reap notice, bask in praise and collect loving cups while the rest of us gleaned consolation from the crumbs at their feet. We lived by the motto, “Nice try.” Without…

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